My crystal ball and I are open for business

You read it here first. On December 28, I predicted that somewhere, somehow, some Muslims would blame Israel for the Tsunami. Well, I was only slightly off -- I forgot to include America in the equation. Here's the latest conspiracy theory, hot off of MEMRI:

The Egyptian nationalist weekly Al-Usbu' has published an investigation by correspondent Mahmoud Bakri, titled "Humanity in Danger," claiming that the earthquake and tsunami in Asia may have resulted from joint nuclear testing by the U.S., Israel, and India. The following are excerpts from the article: "Was [the earthquake] caused by American, Israeli, and Indian nuclear testing on 'the day of horror?' Why did the 'Ring of Fire' explode? "… According to researchers' estimates, there are two possible [explanations] for what happened. The first is a natural, divine move, because the region is in the 'Ring of Fire,' a region subject to this destructive type of earthquakes. " The second possibility is that it was some kind of human intervention that destabilized the tectonic plates, an intervention that is caused only in nuclear experiments and explosions. What strengthens this direction [of thought] are the tectonic plates [under] Indian soil [ sic ], since in the recent few months, India conducted over seven nuclear tests to strengthen its nuclear program against the Pakistani [nuclear program]. "[Various] reports have proven that the tectonic plates in India and Australia collided with the tectonic plates of Europe and Asia. [It has also been proven] that India recently obtained high[-level] nuclear technology, and a number of Israeli nuclear experts and several American research centers were [involved in preparing this]. "The three most recent tests appeared to be genuine American and Israeli preparations to act together with India to test a way to liquidate humanity. In the[ir] most recent test, they began destroying entire cities over extensive areas. Although the nuclear explosions were carried out in desert lands, tens of thousands of kilometers away from populated areas, they had a direct effect on these areas. "Since 1992, many research [institutes] monitoring earthquakes across the world, such as the International Center for the [Study] of Earthquakes [sic] in Britain and in Turkey and other countries, [indicated] the importance of no nuclear testing in the 'Ring of Fire,' where the most recent earthquake struck, because this region is thought to be one of the most geologically active regions over millions of years. Thus, the international centers have always classified it as one of the most dangerous regions [and] likely to shift at any given moment, even without human interference. "But the scientific reports stated that there had been nuclear activity in this region – particularly after America's recent decision to rely largely on the Australian desert – part of which is inside the 'Ring of Fire' – for its secret nuclear testing. "Similarly, many international reports spoke of joint Indian-Israeli nuclear activity. Moreover, only this year Arab and Islamic countries intervened more than three times in the U.S. to stop this joint nuclear activity. "Nevertheless, although so far it has not been proven that secret Indian-Israeli nuclear testing is what caused the destructive earthquake, there is evidence that the recent nuclear tests, the exchange of nuclear experts between India and Israel, and the American pressure on Pakistan regarding its nuclear cooperation with Asian and Islamic countries [by providing India with advanced nuclear technology in an attempt to stop Pakistani activity] – all these pose a big question mark regarding the causes of the severe earthquake in Asia. "Scientific studies prove that there is increasing nuclear activity under the waters of the oceans and seas … and that America is the first country in the world responsible for this activity. This raises an enormous question mark… What is puzzling is that all the previous earthquakes did not cause such great destruction [as this one], particularly [in light of the fact that] the earthquake's center was some 40 kilometers under the seabed of the Indian Ocean. "One of the American researchers, Merrills Kinsey, [The name was not identified by MEMRI.] pointed out an important fact in the scientific report that he prepared after the last disaster, which is that the center of an earthquake that took place some 40 kilometers under the ocean floor could not have caused such destruction unless nuclear testing had been conducted close to the tectonic plates in these countries, or unless several days previously there had been [nuclear] activity that caused these plates to shift and collide – which constitutes a danger to all humanity, not only to the inhabitants of these countries…"

Don't you hate it when you're right?